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FAMILY SECRETS are causing 'silent damage'

You might say:

"Every secret is kept for a valid reason."

"What harm can it do?" 

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On this page you can read what impact particular secrets can have. 

You might be the person who is looking for answers, or 

you can help your loved ones by revealing what you know...

Adoption secrets

The impact on an adopted child or adult can be:

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  • not engaging in serious relationships

  • a restless mind seeking answers

  • the question of "where do I belong?"

  • the feeling of being unworthy

  • depression and loneliness

  • aggression 

  • difficulty 'fitting in'

  • a subconscious feeling of having been abandoned

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These are regularly observed symptoms in adopted children, regardless of their age. 

Be encouraged to tell your loved ones about his or her adoption. 

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Secrets relating to heavily weighing guilt or grave injustice

The impact can be:

  • feeling anxious or guilty for no known reason

  • feeling unworthy

  • severe illness, chronic pain

  • continuous financial struggle

  • depression or constant sadness

  • being drawn to death

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Does this feeling belong to you? 

Could you be living a life, linked to someone you might not even know about?

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Guilt is varied. A form of survivor guilt is, e.g. observed in children or adults whose mother or grandmother (or women of earlier generations) died in childbirth. 

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Family secrets and guilt can linger for generations.

Non-mentioned, excluded or missing family members...

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The impact on others can be:

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  • severe sadness or depression

  • regular emotional outbursts 

  • aggression and violence

  • behavioural issues

  • living a secluded life

  • mental illness

  • feeling drawn to leave the family

  • suicidal tendencies 

  • difficulty obeying rules in family or society

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This is a list of feelings and symptoms, often observed in family members who subconsciously identify with someone who was previously excluded (e.g. institutionalized), or it could be linked to a premature death, caused by accident, suicide or illness. 

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Ask for help, if you are the one who needs answers...

Can the older generation help? Often your parents and grandparents will assist, or perhaps an aunt or an uncle. If you hit reluctance on their behalf, please let them know as to WHY it is important for you to know. We often see a turnaround when the older generation is given an explanation or a reason and they can contribute to your well-being. 


Every piece of information you will be given could potentially be the missing piece for your progress. 

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